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[美剧] 摩登家庭/Modern Family 全集第1季第1集剧本完整版
[美剧] 摩登家庭/Modern Family 全集第1季第1集剧本完整版
剧本 台词 字幕 笔记 中英文对照 纯英文 学英语 文本 PDF 文档 电子版 纸质版
《摩登家庭》是ABC电视台于2009年推出的一部情景喜剧，播出以后便收获好评如潮，在2010的艾美奖上斩获6项大奖，风光无限.
2010年播出季度的第一集，18-49岁年龄段的收视率为5.1，这一成绩甚至超过了《生活大爆炸》（4.8），成为当之无愧的喜剧之王.
第三季第1集18-49岁年龄段的收视率达到了6.1，并且在艾美奖上横扫喜剧奖项。
该片以伪纪录片的摄制方式[展开全文]
《摩登家庭》是ABC电视台于2009年推出的一部情景喜剧，播出以后便收获好评如潮，在2010的艾美奖上斩获6项大奖，风光无限.
2010年播出季度的第一集，18-49岁年龄段的收视率为5.1，这一成绩甚至超过了《生活大爆炸》（4.8），成为当之无愧的喜剧之王.
第三季第1集18-49岁年龄段的收视率达到了6.1，并且在艾美奖上横扫喜剧奖项。
该片以伪纪录片的摄制方式，故事紧紧围绕三个家庭展开：一对老少夫妻，一对同性恋夫妻，还有一对看似正常，实则相当闹腾的中年夫妻.
该剧演员表演功力深厚，台词的笑点反而退居其次，演员们滑稽的表演定会让您捧腹.
【剧本】：
Kids, breakfast! Kids? Phil, would you get them? Yeah, just a sec.
=>孩子们，早餐！孩子吗？菲尔，你会得到他们吗？是的，只是一秒钟
That is so - Kids, get down here! Why are you guys yelling at us? When we're way upstairs, just text me.
=> 就是这样 - 孩子们，下来吧！你们为什么吼我们？当我们在楼上时，只要给我发短信。
All right, that's not gonna happen, and, wow, you're not wearing that outfit.
=> 好吧，那不会发生，哇，你没穿这套衣服。
What's wrong with it? - Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter about her skirt? Sorry? Oh yeah, that looks really cute, sweetheart! Thanks! - No, it's way too short, people know you're a girl you don't need to prove it to them.
=> 它出什么问题了？亲爱的，你有什么话要对你的女儿说她的裙子吗？抱歉？噢，那个看起来真可爱，甜心！谢谢！ - 不，这太短了，人们知道你是一个你不需要向他们证明的女孩。
Luke got his head stuck in the banister again.
=> 卢克又一次把头埋进了栏杆里。
I got it.
=> 我知道了。
Where's the babyoil? - It's on our bedside tab I don't know, find it.
=> 婴儿油在哪里？ - 我们不知道，在我们床头的标签上找到它。
Come on! Iwas out of control growing up.
=> 来吧！我失控了，长大了。
There, you know, I said it.
=> 在那里，你知道，我说过。
I just don't want my kids to make the same bad mistakes I made.
=> 我只是不想让我的孩子们犯同样的错误。
If Hayley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked I've done my job.
=> 如果海莉从来没有在佛罗里达州的沙滩上醒来，我已经完成了自己的工作。
OUR job.
=> 我们的工作。
- Right I've done our job.
=> - 对，我做了我们的工作。
That was a penalty! Gloria, they're 0 and 6, let's take it down a notch.
=> 这是一个惩罚！格洛丽亚，他们是0和6，让我们把它降到一个档次。
We're very different.
=> 我们非常不同
He's from the city.
=> 他来自这座城市。
He has big business.
=> 他有很大的生意。
I come from a small village.
=> 我来自一个小村庄。
Very poor, but very, very beautiful.
=> 很差，但非常非常漂亮。
It's the number one village in north Columbia for all the what's the word? - Murders.
=> 这是北哥伦比亚最大的村庄，这个词是什么？ - 谋杀。
Yes, the murders.
=> 是的，谋杀。
Manny, stop him! Damn it, Manny! Come on, coach! You've gotta take that kid out! You wanna take him out? How about I take you out!? Honey, honey Why don't you worry about your son! He'd spend the first half with his hands in his pants! I wanted to tell her that for the last six weeks I'm Josh, Brian's dad.
=> 曼尼，阻止他！该死的，曼尼！来吧，教练！你得把那个孩子拿出来！你想把他带出去吗？我带你出去！亲爱的，亲爱的你为什么不担心你的儿子！他会把上半身用双手撑在裤子上！我想告诉她，在过去的六个星期里，我是布赖恩的爸爸乔希。
- Hi, I'm Gloria Pritchett Manny's mother.
=> - 嗨，我是Gloria Pritchett Manny的母亲。
Oh, this must be your dad.
=> 哦，这一定是你的爸爸。
Her dad? Uh, no, no, that's funny.
=> 她的爸爸？呃，不，不，这很有趣。
Actually, no.
=> 其实没有
I'm her husband.
=> 我是她的丈夫
Don't be fooled by the uh Give me a second here.
=> 不要被这个呃骗了。
Actually no, I'm her husband! Don't be fooled by the Give me a second here.
=> 其实不，我是她的老公！不要被这个给我一个骗了。
She's adorable! - Oh, thank you! Hi, Precious - Hello.
=> 她很可爱！ - 哦谢谢！嗨，珍贵 - 你好。
We've just adopted her from Vietnam and we're bringing her home for the first time.
=> 我们刚从越南收养她，我们第一次带她回家。
She's an angel.
=> 她是天使
You and you're wife must be thrilled! Sorry, sorry, sorry, daddy needed snacks.
=> 你和你的妻子一定是激动人心的！对不起，抱歉，爸爸需要零食。
So, what are we talking about? We have been together for five years now? And we decided we really wanted to have a baby so, we initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate Then we figured, they're already mean enough, can you imagine one of them pregnant? No, thank you.
=> 那么，我们在说什么？我们在一起已经五年了？我们决定我们真的想要一个孩子，所以我们最初问我们的一个女同性恋朋友是一个替代品然后我们认为，他们已经够意思了，你能想象其中一个怀孕吗？不，谢谢。
You saw that right? Everybody fonding up to Lillian, then you walk on and suddenly it's all I'm gonna give a speech.
=> 你看到了吗？每个人都喜欢Lillian，然后你继续前进，突然间我就要发表演讲了。
- You are not giving a speech you gonna stuck with this people for the next five hours! - You're right, it's okay, I'm sorry.
=> - 你没有发表演讲，你会在接下来的五个小时里和这个人保持一致！ - 你说得对，没关系，我很抱歉。
Honey, look at that baby with those creampuffs.
=> 亲爱的，用那些膏霜看那个婴儿。
Okay, excuse me.
=> 好的，对不起。
But this baby would be growing up in a crowded orphanage if it wasn't for us creampuffs and you know what, to all of you who judge, hear this, love knows no race, creed or gender and shame on you! You small minded, ignorant fe- Mitchell? - What? She's got the creampuffs.
=> 但是，如果这个婴儿不是我们的吸血鬼，那么这个婴儿就会在一个拥挤的孤儿院里长大，而且你知道吗，对于你们所有的人来说，听到这个，爱对你没有种族，信仰或性别的羞辱！你心胸狭窄，无知的米歇尔？ - 什么？她有奶油。
We would like to pay for everyone's headsets.
=> 我们想支付每个人的耳机。
MODERN FAMILY SEASON 1 EPISODE 1 Buddy, why do you keep getting stuk like this? I can get out this time.
=> 现代家庭节日1节目1好友，你为什么继续得到这样stuk？我这次可以出去
I'm just gonna say it he needs to be checked by a specialist.
=> 我只是想说，他需要由专家检查。
There! Be free, Excalibur! I'm having a friend over today.
=> 那里！免费，神剑！今天我有一个朋友。
- Who? You don't know him.
=> - 谁？你不认识他
- Him? Ooh, a boy! You gonna kiss him? - Shut up.
=> - 他？哦，一个男孩！你会吻他？ - 闭嘴。
Luke, Alex, why don't you take it outside, okay? - And do what? Fighting a son, it would be a nice change.
=> 卢克，亚历克斯，你为什么不把它放在外面，好吗？ - 做什么？打一个儿子，这将是一个很好的变化。
I'm kidding! Who's the boy? - His name is Dylan I might as well just tell him not to come, because you guys are just going to embarrass me again.
=> 我在开玩笑！那男孩是谁？ - 他的名字是迪伦我不如告诉他不要来，因为你们会让我再次难堪。
Hang on a second, you're fifteen, it's the first time you've had a boy over.
=> 等一下，你十五岁，这是你第一次有一个男孩。
I'm bound to be a little suprised, but We're not gonna embarrass you! I'd better go charge the camcorder.
=> 我一定会有点惊讶，但我们不会让你难堪的！我最好给摄像机充电。
I'm kidding! Come on! Who are you talking to? I'm a cool dad.
=> 我在开玩笑！来吧！你在跟谁说话？我是一个很酷的爸爸。
That's my thang.
=> 那是我的胜利
I surf the web, I text.
=> 我在网上冲浪，我发短信。
LOL, Laugh Out Loud, OMG, Oh My God WTF, Why The Face You know, I know all the dances to High School Musical, so.
=> 大声笑，OMG，哦，我的上帝WTF，为什么面对你知道，我知道高中音乐的所有舞蹈，所以。
MOM! DAD! - What happend? Luke just shot me! - I didn't mean to! Are you okay? - No, the little bitch shot me! Language! They're only plastic bb's! It was an accident! What did I tell you what happened if you got him a gun? Deal with this! Buddy Uncool.
=> 妈妈！爸！ - 发生了什么？卢克刚刚开枪了！ - 我不是故意的！你还好吗？ - 不，小婊子开枪了！语言！他们只是塑料BB！这是一个意外！如果你拿了他的枪，怎么办？处理它！好友Uncool。
That's it? No, the agreement was that if he shoots someone you shoot him.
=> 而已？不，协议是，如果他射杀某人，你就射杀他。
We were serious about that? Yes, we were and now you have to follow through.
=> 我们对此很认真？是的，我们是，现在你必须遵循。
I'm so sorry! - Liar.
=> 我很抱歉！ - 骗子
Go! - He's got a birthday party.
=> 走！他有一个生日派对
What's more importand here, dad? You can shoot him afterwards, he'll be home at two.
=> 爸爸，更重要的是什么？之后你可以开枪，他会在两点回家。
- I can't shoot him at two, showing our house at two.
=> - 我不能在两个人打他，把我们的房子在两个。
What about three? No, he's at a soccergame at three, and then Oh, we gotta leave for that dinner thing in five.
=> 那三个呢？不，他三点出现在一场足球比赛中，然后哦，我们得在五点吃晚饭。
- Yeah, I guess that works for me.
=> - 是的，我想这对我很有用。
Shoot Luke.
=> 射击卢克。
- Sorry dude, it's on the calendar.
=> - 对不起，伙计，在日历上。
Oh, come on! I'm quitting soccer, it is a game for children.
=> 哦，来吧！我退出足球，这是一个儿童游戏。
No, you're not quitting.
=> 不，你没有放弃
You would've stopped that goal if you weren't staring at that little girl.
=> 如果你不盯着那个小女孩，你会停止这个目标。
She is not a girl, she is a woman.
=> 她不是女孩，她是女人。
- Well yeah, but that's when you live down here but I live up here! You don't have to be so emotional all the time, that's all I'm saying.
=> - 好吧，但那是你住在这里的时候，但我活在这里！你不必总是那么激动，就是我所说的。
Manny, you're with me on this, right? - I wanna tell Brenda Feldman I love her.
=> 曼尼，你跟我在一起，对吧？ - 我想告诉布兰达费尔德曼，我爱她。
Oh, for God's sake.
=> 哦，看在上帝的份上。
Honey, she's 16.
=> 亲爱的，她十六岁
- Oh, it's okay for you to take another lover? Watch it! I want to go to the mall where she works.
=> - 哦，你可以带一个爱人吗？看它！我想去她工作的商场。
But first we need to get my white shirt, the silk one.
=> 但是首先我们需要把我的白色衬衫，丝绸衬衫。
Okay, if that's what you really want to do.
=> 好的，如果那是你真正想要做的。
Seriously, not to be the evil stepdad, but if you put on a puffy white shirt and declare your love for a 16-year-old you're gonna be swinging from the flagpole in your puffy white underpants! Stop the car! Where you going? You hurt his feelings.
=> 严重的是，不要成为邪恶的继父，但如果你穿上一件白色的衬衫，并宣告你对一个16岁的人的爱，你就会从你的蓬松的白色内裤的旗杆摆动！停车！你去哪？你伤害了他的感情。
- Well, if it toughens him up a little bit, then oh, jeez, he's picking flowers! Manny is verry passionate, just like his father.
=> - 好吧，如果他让他变得有点紧张，那么哦，他正在摘花呢！曼尼和他的父亲一样热情洋溢。
My first husband is very handsome, but too crazy.
=> 我的第一任丈夫非常英俊，但太疯狂了。
It seemed like all what we did was fight and make love.
=> 看来，我们所做的一切就是打架和做爱。
One time, I'm not kidding you, we fell out of the window together.
=> 有一次，我不是在跟你开玩笑，我们一起掉在窗外。
Which one were you doing? I'm hearing this for the first time! This doesn't worry you? She barely slept in the plane, and she's stil wide awake.
=> 你在做哪一个？我第一次听到这个！这不担心吗？她几乎没有睡在飞机上，她仍然清醒着。
- Oh, stop worrying! That orphanage, it was all woman.
=> - 哦，别担心！那个孤儿院，全是女人
Maybe she can't fall asleep unless she feels a woman's shape.
=> 也许她不能入睡，除非她感觉到一个女人的形状。
I guess that's possible.
=> 我想这是可能的。
So, here.
=> 所以在这里。
- What the hell is that suppose to mean? Yes, I've gained a few extra pounds while we expecting the baby.
=> - 这到底是什么意思？是的，当我们期待宝宝时，我已经增加了一些额外的体重。
Which has been very difficult.
=> 这是非常困难的。
But, apparently your body does a nesting, very maternal primal thing, were it retains nutrients.
=> 但是，显然你的身体做了一个嵌套，非常母性的原始东西，是否保留了营养。
Some sort of molecular physiology thing.
=> 某种分子生理学的东西。
But that's science, you can't fight it.
=> 但那是科学，你不能与之抗争。
I'm not saying anything.
=> 我什么都没说
You're saying everything.
=> 你在说什么
Count to three, one, t - Three.
=> 数到三，一，三 - 三。
- Okay.
=> - 好的。
Oh my God, do you love it? -Yes, I What the hell is that? I had Andre do it when we we were gone.
=> 哦，我的天啊，你爱吗？ - 是的，我到底是什么？当我们离开的时候，我有安德烈做的。
Is that us? With wings? We're floating above her, always there to protect her.
=> 是我们吗？有翅膀？我们正在她的上方，总是在那里保护她。
Well, that's reassuring, right Lilly? Yeah, we tore you away from everyting you know, but don't worry, things are normal here.
=> 那么，这是令人放心的，对礼来？是的，我们把你从你知道的东西上撕下来，但是不要担心，这里的事情是正常的。
Your fathers are floating fairies! Can you call Andre? Have him paint someting a little less gay? We need to stop having friends with names like Andre.
=> 你的父亲是漂浮的仙女！你能打给安德烈吗？让他画少一些同性恋？我们需要停止与安德烈这样的名字的朋友。
Redheaded dad is angry daddy.
=> 红发爸爸是生气的爸爸。
- No I'm not.
=> - 不，我不是。
- Yes, you are.
=> - 是的，你是。
Even Pepper pointed it out on the way home from the airport.
=> 即使是胡椒从机场回家的路上指出了这一点。
- Okay, that's another one, Pepper! Okay, what's up? I I never told my family we were adopting a baby.
=> - 好的，那是另外一个辣椒！好的，怎么了？我从来没有告诉我的家人，我们正在养婴儿。
I know.
=> 我知道。
- You do? And I don't blame you, I know your family.
=> - 你做？我不怪你，我了解你的家人。
You tell them, they say something judgemental.
=> 你告诉他们，他们说了一些判断。
Exactly! - You get mad.
=> 究竟！ - 你生气了。
I know, and it's supposed to be nothing, but joyful suddenly turns into this huge fight.
=> 我知道，这应该是没有什么，但快乐突然变成这个巨大的战斗。
Who wants a big emotional scene like that? Thank you, I'm so relieved you understand.
=> 谁想要这样一个大的情感场景？谢谢，我很放心你的理解。
I invited them over for dinner tonight.
=> 我邀请他们今晚吃晚饭。
What? - I had to! This would have gone on forever.
=> 什么？ - 我不得不！这将永远持续下去。
You're an avoider.
=> 你是一个避免者。
No, I'm calling them now, I'm cancelling.
=> 不，我正在给他们打电话，我正在取消。
- No, you're not! You're telling your family you've adopted a baby, tonight.
=> - 不你不是！你今天晚上告诉你的家人你收养了一个孩子。
And you do have avoidance issues; even Langina said so! Are you really not hearing these names? Don't answer it, i'll get it! Hey, you must be Dylan.
=> 你有避免问题;连Langina也这么说！你真的不知道这些名字吗？不要回答，我会得到它！嘿，你一定是迪伦。
- Hey, Dylan, yeah.
=> - 嗨，迪伦，是的。
I'm Haley's mother.
=> 我是哈利的妈妈
Hey, now, let's go.
=> 嘿，现在，我们走吧。
Hang on one second.
=> 等一下
Dylan You're still in High School? - Yeah, I'm a Senior.
=> 迪伦你还在上高中？ - 是的，我是一名高级。
Phil, sweetie, honey.
=> 菲尔，亲爱的，亲爱的。
He is Dylan and he is a seniorand you need to scare him.
=> 他是迪伦，他是你需要吓倒他的一个前提。
Let me meet this playa.
=> 让我见面吧。
Phil Dunphy, yo! It's like that, you just start down on him and let the eyes do the work.
=> 菲尔·邓菲哟！就是这样，你就开始盯着他，让眼睛做这个工作。
Your mouth might be saying: Hey, we cool! But your eyes are like: No, we not! Nice to meet you! No, it's not! 'S all good? No, 's it is'n Yo.
=> 你的嘴可能会说：嗨，我们很酷！但你的眼睛是这样的：不，我们不是！很高兴见到你！不，这不对！ “一切都好？不，这不是哟。
- Yo.
=> - 呦。
Okay, I've seen you guys- - Wait You two two keep it real? You k'now what it mean, son? Not really.
=> 好吧，我见过你们 - 等等你们两个保持真实？你知道这是什么意思，儿子？不是真的。
Please stop.
=> 请住手。
- That's cool! Oh, God, that's my back! Ow, oh, I slipped in the baby oil.
=> - 这很酷！哦，上帝，那是我的背影！噢，我在婴儿油里滑了一下。
Ooh, where you from originally? I could defeat you if it came to a physical confrontation! I don't know about this, shall I call a doctor? - No, no, no, no.
=> 哦，你从哪里来？如果发生身体对抗，我可以击败你！我不知道这个，我可以打电话给医生吗？ - 不不不不。
You're verry strong, homes.
=> 你很强大，家庭。
- Thanks.
=> - 谢谢。
Okay, nice, nice soft landing Okay, I am on my side, so flip me right back and we're good.
=> 好吧，不错，软着陆好吧，我在我身边，所以我马上回来，我们很好。
We'll be good.
=> 我们会很好的。
I just need to get flipped right on my back, we should be fine, so.
=> 我只需要背对背，我们应该没问题，所以。
Brenda Feldman.
=> 布伦达费尔德曼。
What is that? - A poem i've written for Brenda Feldman.
=> 那是什么？ - 我为布伦达·费尔德曼写的一首诗。
Of course that is.
=> 当然是。
- I put my thoughts into words, and now my words into action! 'Ey, I give you 50 bucks not to do this.
=> - 我把自己的想法变成文字，现在我的话变成行动！ “哎，我给你50块钱不要这样做。
I'm eleven years old, what am I gonna do with money? What are you gonna do with a sixteen year old? It's like a bullfight! Ever see a bullfight? I can't watch this.
=> 我十一岁了，我要用钱做什么？你怎么处理一个十六岁的孩子？这就像斗牛！曾经见过斗牛？我看不到这个
You're in such a bad mood.
=> 你心情不好
And I know why.
=> 我知道为什么。
It's because that man thought you were my father.
=> 那是因为那个人以为你是我的父亲。
- No.
=> - 没有
- Yes.
=> - 是的。
- NO.
=> - 没有。
When you say no like that, it's always yes.
=> 当你不这样说的时候，总是肯定的。
Come on, we're in the mall, let's get you, like, some younger clothes there's a store there that I know - I don't need any younger clothes! And I don't care what some jackass in a pair of ripped jeans thinks about me.
=> 来吧，我们在商场，让我们来找你，就像一些年轻的衣服那里有一家商店，我知道 - 我不需要任何年轻的衣服！而且我不在乎一双破洞牛仔裤里有什么东西在想我。
Good, you shouldn't.
=> 好，你不应该。
You should only care what I think.
=> 你应该只关心我的想法。
So stop being a gloomy goose, and stop being so hard on Manny.
=>所以不要成为一只黯淡的鹅，不要在曼尼那么辛苦。
- The only reason I'm hard on Manny is just because I don't wanna see him make a fool of himself.
=> - 我对曼尼很难的唯一原因就是因为我不想看到他自己做了一个傻瓜。
And I can smell that hairgoo of his from here! Look, I don't know what's gonna happen to him over there but you're his family now.
=> 我可以从这里闻到他的发型！看，我不知道那边会发生什么，但是现在你是他的家人了。
And that means only one thing.
=> 而这只意味着一件事。
You be there wind in his back, not the spit in his face! What? Something my mom always says, it's gorgeous in Spanish.
=> 你在他背后的风，而不是在他的脸上吐口水！什么？我母亲总是说的东西，西班牙文是华丽的。
Look, he's there.
=> 看，他在那儿
She has a boyfriend.
=> 她有一个男朋友。
I gave her my heart.
=> 我给了她我的心。
She gave me a picture of me as an old-time sheriff.
=> 她给了我一张旧时警长的照片。
That was pretty stupid of me, wasn't it? No, mi amore, it was brave, right, Jay? Brave.
=> 那简直太愚蠢了，不是吗？不，我爱你，对，杰伊？勇敢。
I b you'll know better next time.
=> 我b你下次会更好。
Come on! Let's get a pretzel.
=> 来吧！让我们来一个椒盐脆饼。
Oh, excuse me, sir? We ask that all mall-walkers stay to the right.
=> 哦，对不起，先生？我们要求所有商场步行者保持在正确的位置。
Alex, get out! MOM! Alex, leave your sister alone! I was just getting my book, gosh! - I know sweetie, but you need to respect their privacy.
=> 亚历克斯，出去！妈妈！亚历克斯，离开你的妹妹！我刚拿到我的书，天哪！ - 我知道亲爱的，但你需要尊重他们的隐私。
- What are they doing up there? - Nothing, lying in her bed, watching a movie.
=> - 他们在那里做什么？ - 没什么，躺在床上，看电影。
Okay Okay I'm making a cake for tonight, you wanna help me with the frosting? Sure.
=> 好的，我今天要做一个蛋糕，你想帮助我结霜吗？当然。
So, you know if Haley got pregnant, would you ever pretend she got mono for a few months and then tell everyone the baby's yours? What? A senior at school was out sick for four months, but she was out breastfeeding in an cleanup carwash.
=> 所以，你知道如果海莉怀孕了，你会假装她单身几个月，然后告诉大家宝宝是你的吗？什么？学校的一名高年级生病了四个月，但是她正在用清洁洗车进行母乳喂养。
Buddy, what are you wearing? - Nothing.
=> 老兄，你在穿什么？ - 没有。
No jacket, no hat.
=> 没有夹克，没有帽子。
How many pairs of underwear do you have on? - One Six.
=> 你有多少双内裤？ - 一个六。
First of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat, and how awesome would it be to have a fake little brother who's really my nephew? Haley is not getting pregnant! I'm just saying if.
=> 首先，看到哈利这个胖子真的很酷，有一个真正的小兄弟真的是我的侄子有多棒？海莉没有怀孕！我只是说如果。
I know, and I know you like to make trouble for your sister, but it's not gonna work this time.
=> 我知道，我知道你喜欢为你的妹妹惹麻烦，但这次不行。
You know why? 'Cause your sister is a good girl.
=> 你知道为什么？因为你妹妹是个好女孩。
I know, I was just like her when I was I want you to know, I'm not enjoying this.
=> 我知道，当时我就像她一样，我想让你知道，我不喜欢这个。
This is an important lesson that you're leaning, so.
=> 所以，这是一个重要的教训。
'S all good, keep it You're too close, it's gonna hurt.
=> “一切都好，保持它你太靠近了，会受到伤害。
- It's supposed to hurt! And why are you smiling? I'm What? Oh, forget it.
=> - 它应该受到伤害！你为什么微笑？什么即时通讯？哦，忘了吧。
I can't do this.
=> 我不能这样做。
The point is, you're scared.
=> 问题是，你很害怕。
I think you've learned your lesson.
=> 我想你已经吸取了教训。
Mom?! What are you doing? - Hey, I was just dropping off some laundry, this is a bad time? Yeah Oh, okay.
=> 妈妈？！你在做什么？ - 嘿，我刚刚洗衣服，这是一个糟糕的时间？噢，好吧。
Can you shut the door, please? Actually, we're just go ahead and leave that open.
=> 你能关上门吗？事实上，我们只是继续前进，并保持开放。
Why? Because I have, uh, seen this little show before: Lying on the bed with a tall senior.
=> 为什么？因为我有，呃，看过这个小节目：躺在床上，一个高个子。
one minute you're just friends, watching Falcon Crest, and the next you're lying underneath the air-hockey table with your bra un-pocket! Mom! You hit my bone! - It was an accident! I thought we were friends! - I am your friend! Dad?! Dad, you have got to talk to mom, she is like completely freaking out and emberassing me.
=> 一分钟，你只是朋友，看着猎鹰冠军，接下来你躺在空气曲棍球台下，胸罩没有放在口袋里！妈妈！你打我的骨头！ - 这是一个意外！我以为我们是朋友！ - 我是你的朋友！爸？！爸爸，你得和妈妈说话，她就像是完全吓坏了我。
Well, honey, you're mom isn't always as cool about things as I What is with this thing! My dad, isn't completely comfortable with This, ehum, he still does this thing.
=> 亲爱的，你妈妈并不总是像我这样的东西那么冷静！我的爸爸对这个不是很满意，他还是这样做的。
It's been five years now.
=> 现在已经五年了。
And he still does this thing were he announces himself before walking into any room were in.
=> 而他在走进任何房间之前还是自己宣布自己的东西。
Just to make sure he doesn't ever see us kiss.
=> 只是为了确保他没有看到我们的吻。
Wish my mother had that system.
=> 希望我的母亲有这个系统。
Remember? - Not now.
=> 记得？ - 不是现在。
I still can't beleve you did this to me! - Would you get in the spirit of things! It's a celebration! Oh God.
=> 我还是不能保证你对我做了这个！ - 你会在事情的精神！这是一个庆祝活动！天啊。
I'm gonna go get Lily ready, and I want you to just come straight out with it, you can do this! Sportsguy-chest-bump, sportsguy-chest-bump! Do it, GO! Hey, how are you? Hi, guys! Well thank you, thanks.
=> 我要去准备莉莉，我要你直接出来，你可以做到这一点！运动胸胸部，运动胸胸部！做吧，去吧！嘿，你怎么样？嗨，大家好！那么谢谢你，谢谢。
- Don't thank us open it, dad is right behind Knock, knock, we're here! Coming in! - Don't worry, dad, nothing gay going on here.
=> - 不要感谢我们打开它，爸爸是在背后，敲，敲，我们在这里！进来！ - 不要担心，爸爸，没有什么同性恋在这里。
May I take your multicoloured coat and your bejeweled cap? Yeah.
=> 我可以把你的彩色外套和珠光宝气的帽子？是啊。
Hey, Jay.
=> 嘿，杰伊。
- Gloria, hi! How are you? Hi Gloria, how are you? What a beautiful dress! Thank you, Phil! - Oh, okay.
=> - 格洛丽亚，你好！你好吗？你好，格洛里亚，你好吗？多么美丽的礼服！谢谢，菲尔！ - 哦好的。
Phil! She said "Phil," not "feel!" So how was your trip? - It was good, it was good, actually, but about that, I have something that I need to tell you guys.
=> 菲尔！她说“菲尔”，而不是“感觉！”那么你的旅程如何？ - 这很好，实际上是好的，但是关于这个，我有些事情我需要告诉你们。
We didn't just go to Vietnam for pleasure.
=> 我们不只是去越南玩。
We kinda have some big news.
=> 我们有一些重大的消息。
Oh, God, if Cam comes out there with boobs, I'm leaving! Dad! - I hope he didn't embarrass you, mom.
=> 哦，上帝，如果Cam从胸部出来，我就走了！爸！妈妈，我希望他不要让你难堪
Don't mind her, Haley had her first boy over today, and Phil shot him.
=> 不介意她，哈利今天有了第一个男孩，菲尔开枪打死了他。
Anyway, so about a year ago, Cam and I sort have feeling this longing for something more like, maybe a baby.
=> 无论如何，大约一年前，Cam和我都觉得这种渴望更像是一个婴儿。
Whoa, that's a bad idea.
=> 哇，这是一个坏主意。
What do you mean, bad idea? - Well, kids need a mother! I mean, if you two guys are bored, get a dog! We're not bored, dad! I support you, Mitchell, even though you're not my son.
=> 你是什么意思，坏主意？ - 孩子们需要一个母亲！我的意思是，如果你们两个很无聊，就去找一条狗吧！爸爸，我们不觉得无聊我支持你，米切尔，尽管你不是我的儿子。
I think what dad is trying to say is that, Mitchell, you're a little uptight, kids bring chaos and you don't handle well.
=> 我想爸爸想说的是，米切尔，你有点紧张，孩子们带来混乱，你处理不好。
That's not what's it's saying what you saying.
=> 这不是说你在说什么。
And it's insulting in an whole different way.
=> 这是一个完全不同的方式的侮辱。
Okay, people, let's all chillax! Where's uncle Cameron? - Finally, thank you, someone who's not insulting me noticed he's not here.
=> 好吧，让我们都来吧！叔叔卡梅伦呢？ - 最后，谢谢你，不侮辱我的人注意到他不在这里。
So, that's the big announcement.
=> 所以，这是一个大的公告。
You two broke up.
=> 你们两个分手了
Stop, stop, you come into my house and you insult me and my boyfriend, who is, by the way, not that dramatic! We've adopted a baby.
=>停下来，停下来，你进入我的家，你侮辱我和我的男朋友，顺便说一句，这不是那么戏剧化！我们收养了一个孩子
Her name is Lilly Exciting! Just turn it off.
=> 她的名字是礼来激动人心的！把它关掉。
- I can't turn it off, it's who I am! The music! - Oh, yes, the music.
=> - 我不能把它关掉，我是谁！音乐！哦，是的，音乐。
Come say hello, Lilly.
=> 来打个招呼吧，莉莉。
Lilly? Isn't that gonna be hard for her to say? - Phil.
=> 礼来？这难道不难说吗？ - 菲尔。
Excuse me Okay, I know that I said I thought this was a bad idea.
=> 不好意思，我知道我说过我觉得这个主意不好。
But What do I know? I mean, It's not like I wrote the book on fatherhood.
=> 但是我知道什么？我的意思是，这不像我写的父亲的书。
I'm trying whole my life to get it right, I'm still screwing up.
=> 我正在努力完成我的生活，但我仍然搞砸了。
Right, Manny? I wrote a song about it in the car.
=> 对，曼尼？我在车里写了一首关于它的歌。
- Of course you did.
=> - 当然，你做到了。
Anyway, I'm happy for you.
=> 无论如何，我为你感到高兴。
And you should know that I'm not here to spit in your face, I'm here to blow at your back.
=> 而且你应该知道，我不是在这里吐口水，我在这里吹你的背。
It's supposed to sound better in Spanish.
=> 这听起来应该用西班牙文听起来更好。
Anyhow, Mitch.
=> 总之，米奇。
No, dad, it's I got it, I got it.
=> 不，爸爸，我知道了，我知道了。
She wants her daddy.
=> 她想要她的爸爸。
- Do you wanna meet grandpa? You kidding? She's one of us now! Let me see that little potsticker! Hey, you're a cutie, aren't you! We're from different worlds.
=> - 你想见爷爷吗？你在开玩笑吗？她现在是我们中的一员！让我看看那个小锅子！嘿，你是个可爱的人，不是吗！我们来自不同的世界
Yet we somehow fit together.
=> 然而我们以某种方式融合在一起
Love is what binds us.
=> 爱是什么约束我们。
Through fair or stormy weather.
=> 通过公平或暴风雨的天气。
I stand before you now with only one agenda To let you know my heart is yours, Feldman, Brenda I mean seriously! Luke, so far, he hasn't beaten me at basketball.
=> 我现在站在你面前只有一个议程让你知道我的心是你的，费尔德曼，布伦达我的意思是认真的！到目前为止，卢克在篮球上并没有把我打败。
Get that! Will you step out of my kitchen! Could you just do me a favour and just grab How's the weather down there? But, when the day comes that he does win, if, you know, if when he beats me.
=> 懂吗！你会走出我的厨房！你能帮我一个忙吗？抓住那边的天气怎么样？但是，如果有一天他赢了，如果他打我的话。
I'm just gonna be like, well done! Well done! Just let him, just support him.
=> 我只是会喜欢，干得好！做得好！只要让他，只是支持他。
In that kind of stuff.
=> 在那种东西。
I'm probably just wanna go like,
=> 我可能只是想去，